Let's try this again!

It's been about 2 years since I posted anything here.  Let's just say I've been busy.

Working, looking for work, vacationing, knitting, sewing, crafting, raising a kid, dealing with hounds, fixing that which is broken (myself is the last on that list).

I'm just as busy now, but trying to focus a little more, simplify a lot, and feel a little less scattered.  Why not start here?  I've been doing more craft fairs and have tentatively opened an Etsy store, .  I think I've got 5 items in it now.  I'm determined to get it updated and filled after the next big craft fair, which happens 2 days before BubbaLou's first day at her new school.  I'm taking baby steps in focusing and simplifying and organizing.

Nice Surprise

Today I got a call from a friend I met at Outdoor Retailer 3 years ago. I don't think I've spoken to him in over a year. He called to say he's back in the industry & hoping he''ll see me at OR. It was so nice to hear a friendly voice that understands how hard working a trade show is (even though it's fun) and that despite the fun, you'd rather be home with your family. It made my day.

I've introduced BubbaLou to the sport of slacklining (video introduction.) She can't wait to try it out and neither can I. I think it'll be a good way to work the hell out of my core and have fun. Get my skinny little waist back. She wants to learn to "do tricks like the people in the videos." I'm hoping I can get a deal on a Gibbon at OR, I've been told they're the best. They usually sell them at the show, so here's to hoping! I know I've always stopped to watch at their booth, wishing I could join in the fun.

I'm not looking forward to the packing, but I never do. In fact, I'm procrastinating right now. I have yet to not over pack and then bring back too much stuff. I'm traveling the lightest yet, so I may end up checking a well packed box on the way home. It's been done before!

it's been awhile

Spring came & went. So did Expo. My hours at work went back to normal. Headed to Outdoor Retailer in SLC next week. Part of me can't wait, part of me doesn't want to go at all. It's all the same shit, different day. Work will never change until I can find something new with a chance for growth both personal and professional.

I'm back to knitting, a little bit. I'm sewing the heck out of little girl skirts, knitting breaks it up. Apple Pie Craft Fair is less than a month away and I've signed up for a booth again. Let's hope I don't lose money yet again. 90% of what I'm selling are skirts.

Summer is flying by, like usual. Someday I'll be able to take it off and enjoy it instead of cramming more than possible into each sunny day I don't have to work. This is the reason my house is a disaster area. I should be cleaning instead of writing, but whatever. Oh, to be 25 again with no cares in the world except why my cocktail glass is empty.

My irises were beautiful, until the rain beat the hell out of them. The bee balm is stunning this year. I may actually have edible tomatoes before the frost hits. I'm not holding my breath, though.

I start teaching part-time at BubbaLou's school this fall in exchange for tuition. It works out to about $10/hour, but it's worth it to keep BL at the same school. I'm hoping this will turn into something full time with a decent paycheck. Again, I'm not holding my breath.

Argh. I only seem to post when I'm feeling "off." I guess my journal has gone online. I need to find a babysitter and rediscover my life and the man in it.

Touching base

It's been a while. Got sucked into Facebook, got sidetracked by resumes, made a trip to SLC for Outdoor Retailer (great to see old, and make new, friends.) OR is a long, exhausting show, but it's good for the soul and helps me to remember that people are inherently nice and good. Casey, our new 4-year-old wolfhound has settled into the house nicely. BubbaLou has lost 2 teeth, learned to swim underwater, improved her skiing. I've knit almost nothing, I owe my sister a pair of mittens for Christmas and can't seem to get past the first one. Forget about all the sweaters on needles right now. I'm headed back to CA for Expo West in March and not looking forward to it. It'll be a stressful trip this year and I'm not looking forward to returning the office afterward to face the third degree and petty office jealousy ('cause I'm on vacation out there...riiiiight.) I probably haven't posted in so long because I just had nothing to say. I probably ought to post more often to get things out, maybe it will restore some of my creative ambition and put a little fire under my ass. I am in desperate need of some motivation. And some spring.

Statistics.

I've become one of the many statistics in the US. I was brought in to an office today, door was closed, and I was cut from 32 to 16 hours a week. I was barely making ends meet before this, now I'm at a loss. I don't even know where to start, how to become a resourceful New England-er, how to stretch a nickel into a 20 dollar bill. And because I live in NH, unemployment benefits suck. Even though I qualify, the benefits won't pay my groceries every week. It might have actually been better had they laid me off 100% instead of 50% so I qualified for full benefits.

The holidays will certainly suck this year. Not because BL isn't going to get the sewing machine she wanted, but because the stress level will be at an all time high. The holiday will be special for BL because it will be sparkly and exciting and she's not a greedy, materialistic little girl. There will be a tree and Santa will fill a stocking. Tension and tempers will run rampant, and I'll probably stop eating normally due to stress. On the plus side, I bet I get back down to 102lbs. I'm going to have to keep it together, smile, and laugh. Santa doesn't like cry babies.

I was told this is temporary, "probably" 6-8 weeks. My money's on this being a permanent cut. Funny too, cause I'm the 2nd lowest paid person in the company and of course, I need the money the most. People at work are talking about buying their kids iPods and laptops for Christmas, season passes to ski, and I'm wondering how I'm going to keep warm.

So far, 35 sucks. November sucks. Why wasn't I born in July? I bet people with July birthdays don't have these problems 'cause they get to have fireworks at their birthday parties and it's warm outside.

Eh. Doldrums.

I'm trying not to be jealous (because I know that's ludicrous) & I'm missing certain places/times a lot right now. Decided quiet, lazy Sunday afternoons are not for me a long time ago. Too much introspection, too much meandering down memory lane. I'd much rather be in the company of friends, being lazy together, laughing, joking, maybe enjoying a beer or two, perhaps getting a little loud now and then. Not that I'd change my life right now (well, not much anyway) but it would be nice to have some spontaneity back. I miss having friends pop over for dinner unannounced & unplanned who knew they'd get a good meal-even on the fly, getting that call-"hey, whatcha doin'? let's go..." I've always know I am not someone who does "alone" well. I can if required, but would prefer to be surrounded by a crowd or just a few who let me connect to them.

Have I mentioned that I HATE fall? It's my least favorite season. I can't stand the cooler weather, don't like the sun going down earlier & earlier each night, barely tolerate the leaf-peepers, and generally want to tell the world to go to hell. I avoid scraping the frost off my windshield for as long as possible by using gallons of washer fluid & running the defrost at full blast. I miss my tank tops & skirts, my bikinis, my bare, painted toes. I miss salad and grilled chicken feeling like a great meal. I miss meandering and drifting, driving with the windows down.

I do not think I am depressed. I think I am just a little melancholy. I think I need a swift kick in the ass. I think I have to create the life I want and stop waiting to get it back. I need to remember that many out there have it so much worse than me. And I will remember that...tomorrow.

Poll

If you knit, please go to BikerChicKnits and take her poll in the right sidebar:
"Have you ever lost a FO?"

whew.

It has barely started and fall has been busy. Yesterday alone we had swimming lessons, a welcome-back-to-school picnic (for which I made 50 pumpkin whoopie pies), I made 50 birdseed hearts for a wedding and I attended a friend's bachelorette party. I've decided I'm too old to be up until 2:30am.

Sunday...ugh. 5 hours of sleep doesn't make for a productive day. Made 60 more birdseed hearts. They have to be delivered on Wed and I want to make sure they're completely dry. Grocery-shopped (that is it's own special kind of hell.) Attempted laundry and vacuuming. Didn't get as far as I'd hoped.

Even Zeep felt a little pitiful today. I guess he didn't get his beauty rest after being awakened at 2am.

Dragon threatened to eat all the deserts at the picnic. Deserts were saved by BubbaLou. Photo is slightly deceiving...dragon back is about 6' tall. It's a great feat to be able to climb up to the top of the dragon's tail, back & head because if you can't get down by yourself, you can't go up.
Next weekend, wedding. Weekend after- VT sheep & wool. Weekend after that- Warner Fall Foliage Festival. Weekend after that- birthday party season officially starts. I 'owe' two women baby sweaters. I think I'm gonna have to knit 12month sizes at this rate.

Hounds and the dog days of summer...

I have officially begun the search for another wolfhound. Preferably an adult in need of a loving home. And a little girl who will call him a little brother, like Zeep-y. Zeep's human 'Mama' just let me know they're hoping for a spring litter...there may be a baby in my future.

Now for the dog days of summer...kind of. School is about to start, the tourists are going home and I get to enjoy the warm, sunny days of September sitting on a quiet beach and swimming in water that's still pretty warm (compared to what it was like in June.) And BL will have all the beach toys to herself (if they haven't been locked up yet.)

Aaahhhh.
I love where I live, but when I visit a 'tourist town', I sympathize with them.

Stand Tall

We Are Great!We Are Strong!We Are Giant Dorks!

We also know how to have more fun than Bubba Lou at the new local playground.
Seriously...they have these super-duper spinning things...just asking for a group of tipsy "adults" to play on and be video taped for youtube.

Pin Drop lll

BL had a hearing check up w/ the specialists on Friday.

Her hearing couldn't be better. No more fluid at all.

Now there's no excuses.

Let them eat cake...all of it!

I've spent the last 5 days making what felt like hundreds of 6", 10" & 14" cakes, and tons of Swiss Meringue Frosting. Literally tons of it. My arms will vouch for me. And I cannot thank 'Sis enough for letting me borrow her Kitchen Aid (hers-red, mine-blue...very patriotic.) Saved me hours of washing out the large bowl to beat egg whites into submission.

I do not own a turn-table. My creativity kicked in...what does BubbaLou own that spins? She's got to have something...think, think, think.
The infamous Sit-N-Spin!Flip it upside down, place over two chairs...voila! Instant turntable.
And if you accidentally bump the "top" of the red part, it plays a jaunty little tune.
Damn near lost the cake the first time it went off.

Final result:

Not as perfect as I would have liked, but over 80 degree temps and no A/C in the reception hall was not very kind to the frosting (all that butter.) Touch-ups were almost impossible, especially with no running water (cold or otherwise) in the place to be able to cool the spatula down. Groom and Mother of the Groom were very pleased (not as type-A, OCD, perfectionist as me.)

Very happy to be done. Tomorrow will finish cleaning the kitchen and mopping up the floor (scraping up dropped frosting & dried bits of cake trimmings.) Will also throw away any leftover cake so I don't eat it all. The thought of eating cake & frosting kinda makes me sick right now anyway.

Bee Balm

Close-up of bloom in the afternoon sun.
The bloom on top is actually coming out of the center of the lower one.
It's like fireworks.

An unopened bud.

This one just opened yesterday.
No fireworks yet.

Last summer my Mom gave me 2 Bee Balm plants that came from my Nana's Bee Balm plants. I have a huge patch this year over 6 feet tall with so many blooms in the most wonderful shades of hot pink, plum and frosty green. Wherever my Nana is, she's smiling. I don't see or smell these without thinking first of her, then my Mom, then BubbaLou.

I love how the pictures came out. I have a new camera (Canon SD1400) that I've been playing with. I'm no expert (not even a good amateur) but I'm quite happy with how the close-ups came out. I've also managed to get some cute shots of BL and Zeep. One of the neatest feature is being able to shoot the whole picture in b&w except for one color. Very neat with BL's pink lips standing out in a picture I took against a pretty white, bright background.

These boots are make for walking....

Well, actually they're sneakers.

I've started walking to work and home every day that I don't have to take BL to daycare. One tiny step for the environment and my wallet (haven't even started my truck in 4 days), many giant steps for my rear end. It's only 1.5 miles each way, but the way to work is mostly uphill and the way home mostly downhill. Each has it's own 'challenges' and uses different muscles. Muscles I forgot I had in my rear end, lower back, thighs and calves. Did I mention I carry a pack (Gregory- My "I love it so much I'll cry when it falls apart" pack) with my shoes, change of clothes, small toiletry bag, calendar, wallet, and lunch? It's motivation not to gain any more weight and loose the 10 I've put on (and several inches in multiple places that have gotten soft and squishy.)

Today is Day 3 in a row. I'm pretty proud of myself, especially since if I didn't walk I could leave the house 45 minutes later (and sleep later.) The walk takes me a half hour right now, but I'm hoping to get it down to 20 minutes by the end of July so I can leave a little later and still have time to freshen up at work. This morning was the worst so far.

What keeps me going is the hope that tomorrow will hurt less if I just keep working through it.
I'm optimistic.

Pin Drop II

BL's surgery went very well and very fast. We had to be there at 6:45am, and were home by 9am. It took more time for BL to come out of anesthesia and settle down than anything else. She was well behaved, loved the pulse/O2 monitor on her finger. She wasn't scared and Sy said she was staring with the mischievous look that only a 5 year old has at all the lights and buttons in the OR (wondering how to take over the place, no doubt.) BL should be hearing normally by the end of summer (her eardrums need a chance to soften back up so they can vibrate properly.)

Pin drop

Bubba Lou goes in for surgery in June. Tubes to drain the fluid in her ears & removal of her adenoids so they stop blocking her eustachian tubes so the fluid can drain on it's own. According to the ENT, we've taken a step backwards since she last saw us and BL's hearing loss in the left ear is significant, right ear moderate. Her hearing should be normal by the time school starts again. I've been assured the loss isn't permanent.

I know it's routine surgery these days, but I'm still nervous. Who wants their kid put under anesthesia? (Well, you know what I mean.)

Heat Wave & Slush Cup

Wow! I went skiing today w/ no hat, no goggles. Short sleeves, sunglasses. Hard skiing...we called it mashed potatoes when I was kid. Otherwise, conditions were good.

Today was also the Annual Slush Cup at Mt. Sunapee. 200 people register to ski/snowboard down the hill and attempt to get across the man-made pond. Don't make it? SPLASH! Most people dress up in costume (whether you're attempting the pond-cross or not), I saw 2 Easter Bunnies and 2 Elvis impersonators, a few pirates, a few (too-young) girls in bikinis, a doctor, and the man in the bear-skin coat that's been there every year since I was 10 years old, among others. The main snowy thoroughfare in front of the parking lot becomes the 'beach.' Bring on the beach umbrellas, grills, coolers and music. When I was a kid, we always showed up early for a lakeside parking spot and grilled lunch while sitting in beach chairs. Dad was usually in a mis-matched leisure suit from Goodwill, Sis and I were in layered jeans and shorts and layered t-shirts.

By the way, it was over 75 degrees on the mountain today. With the sun reflecting off the snow, it felt like 90. I was cooking, my boots were soaking wet from the inside out. I don't think it's ever been that hot when I've skied before. Couldn't have asked for more (could do without the sunburned ears...forgot I didn't have a hat on!)

Next week is the Annual Intergalactic Cardboard Sled Race. We won't miss that one unless it's raining. Always fun, and another excuse to grill on the snow with a bunch of friends you don't know yet.

It went like this...

Daddy said
"If you argue too much when you're 5 years old, when you turn 6 your hair will turn yellow."

Bubba said
"No it won't."

Daddy said
"Yes it will. I saw it happen to a girl."

Bubba said
"Oh yeah, what girl?"

Daddy said
"A girl I used to know."

"What was her name?"
"Beulah"
"That's a made-up name. Where did she live?"

This would have gone on for hours had Sy and I not started laughing so hard we cried. You cannot pull the wool over Bubba Lou's eyes. No matter how hard we try to convince her chocolate is made of broccoli, or blueberries are just big rain drops, she never believes us. And I mean NEVER. It's impossible to fool her, she has a natural, built-in bullshit sensor (and she's happy to call you on it.) She knows what she knows and we cannot convince her otherwise.

She's going to grow up to interrogate prisoners. People will beg her to stop. They will confess all their sins just to shut her up. I can only imagine what's going to happen when she turns 13.

Sy and I have said (as I'm sure any parent of a girl has) that all you need to do to get prisoners or terrorists to confess is put them in a locked room with a few pre-teen/teenage girls (friends or not, doesn't matter) and only give one of them a cell phone. Set it to receive only, text only, no calls. People will give up anything to get out of that room.

Sheep in Rabbit's Clothes

Baa, Baa black sheep
Have you any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags full.

One for a sweater, one for a hat
One for an intrelac, felted door-mat.

(Hence the reason I wasn't busting into them for a little sheep marionette. We made due with cotton/angora leftovers.)

Isn't he cute? Started this morning. Finished this afternoon (with lots of laundry and visit from Dad in between the knitting.) Love instant gratification.

Ivory cotton/angora friend has already been requested. Maybe tomorrow.

Life

Sitting on the sofa last week (?), knitting-check, snack-check, blanket-check, correct channel-check. I was much anticipating the new Discovery Channel mini-series, Life. I was imagining the greatness I saw during Planet Earth, the rich, melodic voice of Sigourney Weaver describing things more amazing than any special effect.

Oh, the horror and dismay when the opening credits of Life finished and Oprah Winfrey's voice fell over the images that flowed across my screen. Really? Discovery couldn't do better? I'm not knocking Oprah, but she's a talk-show host with a talk-show host voice (and I usually like her show.) However, her voice is not what I would call resonant or rich and melodic. I found it distracting. Ruined the show for me, tried watching in mute, couldn't get Oprah's voice out of my ears, had to turn it off. Damn it. I guess I should have paid more attention to the previews.

I don't know what the critics are saying (don't care) but when you spend that much $$ and that much time on filming images that, while they speak for themselves, need a little voice-over...you pick a voice that doesn't take away from your film. You pick a voice that flows with it.

Imagine Morgan Freeman's (yeah, I know he did March of the Penguins) voice instead.
Lovely, mesmerizing, captivating, adding a subtle dimension to the stunning imagery.

But maybe I'm wrong and everyone loves Oprah's voice-over.